New beginnings

Starting anything new is scary.  But once you get started, whatever it is often becomes exhilarating. I feel like I'm starting over. My family is in the process of moving to a new house that has everything we need to live our lives more fully and I'm working on getting back to my roots.

Since becoming a mom last June, literally everything I do revolves around my darling daughter. She's taught me to appreciate the small things in life - little smiles, giggles, small changes that you only notice if looking deeply. She makes me want to be the best person that I can but also makes me realize that I can act locally and focus on a few things and not try to do everything.

So I'm going back to my roots, my first love: art. I'm teaching myself to sew again and rediscovering previous loves. I can feel it in my bones that my path is coming to light...

For those who don't already know me, I have a Bachelor's in Fine Art and a Masters in Environmental Science. Crazy, huh? I can't tell you how many people looked at (and treated me) like I was crazy. Yes, an artist can love science too!

But getting that Masters degree killed part of me. I met so many wonderful people and yet several who I trusted seemed to do all they could to make life difficult. They would help others, but not me. Even if I recently took the time to help them with something. I felt like the outcast, the black sheep. I'm glad for the experience and knowledge and realization that I simply don't belong in that realm, even if it involved hardship. I lost a part of myself, many dreams and goals, but I'm finally picking up the pieces.

Two days after I learned I was with child, I got a call that would change my life. It was for a job I thought I wanted but I quickly learned I didn't. Other jobs that I knew were perfect for me, I didn't get. So why this one? Who knows?! But it taught me again that I have value, that I can work with anyone, and that I love to write and create.

It was an extremely stressful job. I don't want to discuss the details. Let it suffice to say that no one felt safe. We were constantly threatened, berated, expected to work 24/7 and have no life. After one night of severe pain about 4 months into my pregnancy, I knew I couldn't continue that life. I didn't want to risk losing my baby.

Thankfully my husband got a better job soon after and now I'm a stay at home mom. I love being with my darling girl, but I know there's more to me and I want to teach her to be strong and brave and to go after her dreams.

So here I am! Rosabelle Design. This is for my daughter, my family, but especially for me. I want to show myself that I can start over and find my own way.